Sunday, August 14, 2011

Help for a Friend and Fellow Infertile

I'm writing this to all of you because you understand what it is like to struggle to have your family.

One of my friends decided a while ago, after trying naturally for a few years and not wanting to go down the hormone laden IUI/IVF path, to turn to domestic infant adoption. She's not in the blogosphere, but she's a person I've know for 7 years or so now. She and he husband spent a few years trying naturally and then had a lapaorscopy and discovered endometriosis. Over the course of the last 4 years, as they still tried naturally I'm sure, they were paired with 3 different birth families and had almost had a baby, but each time, at the very last minute, either something was a deal breaker or the birth mom decided to parent...

Fast forward to earlier this year, they were finally matched with a teenager who was pregnant, their "Juno" as they lovingly joke. Everything felt great. After attending ultrasounds and doctor's appointments with the birth mom, about 9 weeks ago, my friend and her husband attended the birth of their baby and 2 days later were able to take their new son home with them! THRILL!!!

But in our state, there is a 30 day waiting period before the termination of parental rights occurs. And the day before their court date a few weeks ago, the court appointed guardian of the baby ordered a paternity test (not quite sure why, but it's a small town and maybe he knew something?). To make a long story short, the original birth father, was not the birth father after all... And now another, new potential birth father has entered the picture. Because of this, they need to establish paternity and go through more legal issues and hope and pray that this new potential birth father will consent to the adoption, since now, he technically could decide to parent if he wants to.  They are hopeful he will consent, but the legal fees are adding up and they of course are worried sick that something will prevent them from being the adoptive parents to this beautiful little boy who has lived in their house as their son for the last 9 weeks.

So... a few of my friends and I decided we'd get together and try to raise a little money to donate to their legal costs. We feel like our hands are tied and want so baldy to do something to help them... and this is what we came up with.

I know you don't know them at all, and most of you barely know me, let alone who I am "IRL", but I wanted to share her story with a community of women who can understand the desire of a friend to want to do something.

If you have any $$ to spare and would like to donate to the cause, it would be greatly appreciated. I figured, even if all of my 50+ followers (and I'm assuming there's at least a few more out there) would donate $10, we could make a little dent. With our friends here IRL, we've already raised about $300.

You can donate any amount you have to offer at this link RIGHT HERE or at the button on the top right of my blog. I will keep a button up on the side of my blog while it is open. We will be collecting donations for the next few weeks and plan to give it to our friends, hopefully in celebration of their finalized adoption soon thereafter. I'll follow up in a few weeks to let you know how much we have raised.

I know we are all busy saving money for our own baby struggles or parenting thereafter, but a little could really go a long way. Please email me at  if you have any questions, I'd be happy to share more with you. Thanks so much for your consideration!


Anonymous said...

I so love that you're doing this for your friend. What a horrendous thing they're going through!

Jenny said...

As an adoptee who was first abandoned by my birth mother/family and then placed with two different families but adopted by neither before my family brought me home to stay, I appreciate you sharing your friend's story and creating a way for others to help with the financial burden of the situation. My heart goes out to them, and I hope they have a happy ending to this story.