Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Dear Dotty,

First off, I want to give a HUGE thanks to everyone who is donating so far to the adoption fund we are gathering for one of our friends. You can read about her story here and donate at the link on the top right button that says "donate". So far, we've raised over $300. I'm so amazed at the help people are willing to give. It warms my heart. It feels amazing to collect money for someone and they don't even know it yet! I can't wait to give her this gift. We will keep the fund open for donations through the next week or so...Thank you all SOO very much.

Secondly, I went into the RE yesterday morning to check my lining after 2 weeks of estrogen. All looks good on the "cushy embryo landing pad" front.  Triple striped and 9mm... couldn't ask for much more. Now, we just have to hope and pray that it stays the course over the next 2 weeks AND that Dotty, my sweet nick name for my donor, gets to start her stims on Thursday. She goes in for her baseline then... Please keep your fingers crossed.

Finally, I wanted to share the letter I wrote to my donor with you. I sent it to our coordinator yesterday and asked that she would send it on to Dotty. I've been trying to find a way to tell her, in a nice way, that I really hope she understands what this means to me and knows that her efforts are appreciated. There's a small part of me...well, screw that...rather large part of me, that is having a hard time with letting go of the control aspect of this. I have NO control over her. I have NO control over the time she does her shots. I have NO control over what she puts into her body. I have NO control over how much attention she gives to this in her life... And  more than likely, everything will go just fine. But I'm so worried that she's going to trigger too early or to late, or she's going to mess up the dosages and not get a lot of eggs... blah blah blah...  My mind NEEDS to stop this madness.

So I thought this letter would be a good way of getting it out of my head, and in a very nice and sweet way, express to her how very much this means to me. Because it really really means a lot.... a huge lot.


But then I decided not to share it with you because I got worried that somehow she would be able to find it online and realize that I'm the intended mother... (yes, I'm kind of paranoid right now)... and so decided to take it down from here.

Anyways, it felt good to share my thoughts with her and hopefully she will take my letter in a positive way.

6 comments:

LisaB said...

Yeah!! Good news all around! Stay cushy, lining! I wish we could read your letter, but I totally understand! Will be thinking of you.

cgd said...

I understand that some things are private but think it is lovely that you expressed your feelings to Dotty.
things sound like they are moving along nicely and I am so excited for this to finally happen for you!! I have a good feeling about this. sending much love and luck to you...

Maria said...

Damn, I was all primed to read it! LOL! What a beautiful gesture....she's sure to love a note from you. Boy do I ever get the scariness of being out of control....and you're right, everything is probably going to be fine. In fact, it may even be perfect. xo

Glass Case of Emotion said...

Sending you (and your friend in the adoption) good thoughts.

thirtiesgirl said...

Sounds like things are going well. I agree that she'll love a personal note.

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

I am sure that the letter you wrote to her is perfect! Thinking of you and Dotty!