Saturday, April 9, 2011

Reminders in the City

I always feel better about life and my future prospects of being a mom after a visit to see my sisters for a night out in the city.

I'm the oldest of 5 children. Me (36), J (sis, 33), J (bro, 31), L(sis, 29) & C(sis, 26)...

Yes, my mom was fertile.
And yes, my parents are Catholic.

All of my siblings, except for me, live in a very fun neighborhood in the city, within about a mile or so radius of each other. Every once in a while I go down after work on Friday for a night out on the town. It takes me a few hours to get down there, depending on traffic and I SO enjoy getting into my car, cranking up the tunes and driving in my zippy car.. (Ha, just thought to my self, Tippy's got a Zippy! I'm such a dork)... Where was it... Oh, the energy of the city is so fun. It gives me a boost, a charge, especially at night. In my next life, I will definitely live in a big city, in a high rise and not own a car or a house and take public transportation everywhere and eat out a lot... It sounds SO wonderful and sexy to me.... But I digress.

So we had dinner and some drinks at a fantastic French-Mexican fusion restaurant with my sister J, some of her friends and my other sister L, all for J's birthday. Besides the good food, drink and dressing up, it's also great to be reminded that there are a lot of women out there near my age who aren't mom's yet and that's... ok!  They have fun, fulfilling lives and they don't have the agenda of needing to have already popped out a few kids. I think I forget that sometimes because I am so immersed in a life here in my smaller city where all of my friends are parents 2 or 3 times over and most of my other friends are those that are trying and struggling to be parents just like me.

Reminding myself that I'm not the only one at my age with out children, even though that should be a VERY obvious statement, is a good thing to do every once in a while... and heck, if I HAVE to go to the city and have a few drinks and awesome food to do that.... I think I can manage.


Maria said...

Okay, I am soooo loving this post, my friend. I love that you had such a fantastic time and honored the you that can dress up and have a sexy time in the city with your sisters. And, P.S......French-Mexican fusion???? Okay...THAT sounds awesome and sexy. :)

LisaB said...

So glad you had a nice time out! Very important to enjoy time like that. :-)

Infertile Farmer said...

Love this post and that you had a day of fun and a feeling of not being so alone. I was with one of my best friends this past weekend who doesn't have kids yet and she is just loving going out for fancy dinners, concerts, traveling, doing all sorts of fun stuff that I was incredibly jealous of!! It's so easy to lose sight of all those "sans kids" opportunities while we are in the midst of infertility...especially because the treatment schedule makes life so damn unpredictable! But savor those fun times and create those opportunities when you are able!!

gailcanoe said...

Here from the Roundup. Thanks for the reminder. I often forget that myself and feel left out of motherhood when often I just need to look harder for the women who aren't mothers yet. And, it helps when I know that the non-mothers are happy and leading interesting lives (at least on the outside).

myinfertilitywoes said...

Here from the Round-up - so true, we must hang out with other women without children to remind us. Oftentimes I feel left out or left behind with some of our friends who have children (most of them!). I think it can also be nice to not talk about infertility or our struggles so that we can 'forget' about it for a moment and recognize that there's so much more to who we are than having/not having children at the moment.

I don't mean to trivialize it by any means but I've noticed that even mothers lose sight of who they are in the midst of rearing children and the same can happen to us with trying to conceive. I want to focus on all of the things that I am, not 'just' 1 experience I'm going through right now.