Sunday, July 3, 2011
My Meditation Place
One of the things that many of us infertiles do to help relieve stress and also aid in a cycle are guided meditations. Circle and Bloom, Anji Inc and Belaruth Naparsack are some of the ones that I have listened to from time to time, and I love them all for different reasons. Often, in these meditations, the voice asks you to envision a place that you find comfort in, and brings you peace. A place that you can go to, whether in your imagination or somewhere you've actually been to, that gives you a feeling of calm and relaxation.
In my head, for these past few years, the peaceful place that I go to is the porch of a large log-cabin that overlooks the mountains and a valley. I don't exactly know what the cabin looks like, but the view of the mountains is what I focus on. I can smell the pine trees, hear and feel the cool air blowing through them and I see myself wrapped up in a big comfy blanket in a chair on the porch taking it all in... breathing. Sometimes, I even have my child snuggling in my chest with me. It just depends on the meditation and the mood. It is truly a place that I feel at home.
I've always felt at home in them. I went to college in the Rocky Mountains and loved every minute of my years there. I even remember as a kid, before I'd been out west (I grew up in the Midwest too), on one of our family camping trips, we went to Denver area and I swore to myself then that I would live in the mountains.
Now that I'm back in the Midwest, I crave seeing the mountains very often. And so, as Tidy and I planned a week getaway this summer, we decided to go camping in the Rockies. It was everything I had hoped for and more. We spent a few days hiking and camping pretty much by ourselves and then we spent a few days exploring Denver and the area, finding amazing places to eat and drink fantastic beer. (Have I told you how much of a "hop-head" Tidy is?)
Anyways, as we decided on places to set up our tent, we found a fairly secluded camp ground at about 9500 feet in the pine forest just below Long's Peak, one of the tallest peak's in the area. And as we walked around a few of the open sites to claim as our home for the next few days, only one had the view that I show at the beginning of this post. And guess what....
THAT IS THE VIEW FROM MY IMAGINATION!!!!
I couldn't have drawn that view better if I tried to do it from my mind. That is what I see when I envision myself on my log cabin porch, in a blanket, at peace.
I was dumbfounded. I was awestruck. I teared up.
Clearly this was the campsite we were meant to be at.
I took this as a message from the universe that we are on the right track, that it was telling me it's time to be peaceful and calm and just know and trust that our baby is close.
Man, I hope I'm getting my omens right.