Monday, July 25, 2011


Today was one of those days that if I had a "do-over" card, I would have played it.

Here are the events of the day that aren't really in any specific order, except for the last one that seriously pissed me off...

I got to work about 20 minutes late and realized as soon as I turned on my computer that I was 20 minutes late for a fairly important meeting that I was sitting in for, for my boss who is on vacation this week. Oops. (p.s... this is TOTALLY not like me. I usually check my email the on Sunday night to look over my calendar for the next day, but I had such a great detached weekend from work that I simply did not want to even think about it before I got into my office this morning)

I then forgot that I had an offsite meeting at the University in my town to potentially partner with  a group of them for some statistical modeling that we are working on at work and missed going to that because I was stuck in the above meeting. So I missed a really fun morning of touring a newly built think tank and schmoozing. Crap.

I was eating a snack at my desk, of yummy chips and salsa, and sure enough, spilled some salsa on my shirt AND pants ... the shirt and pants I had JUST washed and ironed yesterday. Ugh.

(This next part is the part that is really pissing me off right now. And it does discuss finances, so for that, I apologize as I usually don't like to discuss finances, nor do I believe it is very appropriate to, but when it comes to infertility, blogging about it and raising awareness, I do feel it is very important to show the lengths people will go to, to figure out how to afford to pay for these things that we do in order to just... have... a.... baby!)

I called my Lawyer's office today to pay the bill I received on Friday for her to review our donor contract.  I'll get to the bill in a second, but first.... On the bottom of the bill it says, "Make checks payable to XXX, LLC." I called today to ask if we could pay using our credit card, because we've decided to finance some of our donor cycle with 0% interest credit cards. I have my spreadsheet all plotted out with how to pay it off within the allotted time frame. 

The assistant at the office said, "We prefer that you pay cash or check." And to that I said, "I'm sorry that we can't do that right now, because we are paying about $XXK in total for this whole Donor Egg IVF cycle and I simply don't have $X00's in cash right now. We've decided to finance much of it with 0% interest credit cards so we don't have to pay any interest on much of this money, because as it is, it's already a lot of money and we'd prefer not to pay more". (pay attention to that interest/extra money part... that's important later on). The assistant then agreed to let me use my credit card, but after I said it was a Discover card, she said, "Oh... we only accept Visa and MasterCard".... Of course you do.

So I explain to her that if she needs me to come up with the cash over the next few months I can probably do it, but I simply can not pay that amount of money right now. She said she'd check with the lawyer and get back to me.

At the end of the day, I looked at my phone and the assistant had called back and left a message. She said she had talked with my lawyer and the lawyer suggested that maybe we could get one of those checks from our credit card company and can pay with that, because to them, it's simply a check.

I literally dropped my jaw at that... Like... Did she not understand my point in discussing my finance with her? I DO NOT WANT TO PAY INTEREST ON THIS MONEY!!!  We have a plan and I really really want to stick to it. One of those checks comes with hefty fees for using them which essentially would amount to paying interest on the legal fees. Which, again, I do not want to do.

Granted, in the whole scheme of things, it's not that much more, but it's the principal. I hate that we are so limited and tied up by the money aspect of infertility, sometimes more than the unfairness of infertility to begin with.

Now, I do know that MAYBE, just maybe, the lawyer was thinking of this as being a good option so I could use my credit card and maybe, just maybe she didn't realize there were hefty fees to use those checks, but after the day I had...where I really just wanted to crawl back into my bed, go to sleep and wake up and claim a do-over for the day (or Mulligan, in golf speak)... I went with the emotional reaction to this situation and assumed that all this lawyer could think of was getting her money as fast as she could. Bastards! :-)


Cherm29 said...

boooo for a crappy day! "Do over" Warranted for sure! I hope you have a better day tomorrow. xoxo

Mags said...

I hate that there have to be layers and layers of unfairness and insensitivity in this process for you. Ugh! Hoping tomorrow feels like a do-over and helps you feel like you get your footing back.

Anonymous said...

Arggggg (yes I just pulled a pirate bc that is how I felt reading this!) I hope tomorrow yields a much better day :)

marilyn said...

sounds so frustrating!!! Hard day!!! stupid people!!! Bastards!!!!

LisaB said...

Ack! Talk about a shitty day! I hope things get better! <3

RunningMama said...

Yuck, yuck, yuck. What a crappy day. I hate it when it feels like life is just TOO hard...that everything goes wrong. I guess, though, if you didn't have this huge overarching IF SUCKS...that these smaller issues wouldn't be as bad. Sigh.

AT said...

Random lurker here. I do a bunch of 0% credit card stuff, and sorry if you don't want advice, but just in case it might be helpful...

Does your discover card allow you to do a "balance transfer" instead of just a purchase at 0%? In general, card I've had that did 0% purchase APR offered 0% balance transfers at the same time. And they'll generally let you "transfer" to any creditor. You can just give them the name of the lawyer and an amount and they'll cut a check and send it. Presumably that what this lawyer is thinking you can do. Maybe your deal doesn't allow this, but if you haven't looked into it, it might be worth it.

You could also take a look for more 0% offers at

Good luck!

Chelle said...

I loathe days like that. And if all of that wasn't bad enough, it was a Monday. Monday's are the armpit day of the week. Even better, they are the ass crack day of the week.

I'm going to go with the lawyer didn't think when she said you could use the checks. Her mental process did not go beyond the check to what using the check entailed for you. Definitely still thoughtless, but in a less greedy way.

I have been saying, "Is it Friday yet?" since I rolled out of bed yesterday morning.

P.S. My word verification is "Curscrud." Appropriate.

cgd said...

ugh all around. That is so upsetting about the payment thing. Makes it feel such a business transaction (which of course it is on some level) instead of a family building process.
I totally get your running late and forgetting thins. I double booked patients this week, I hate when that happens and it does not happen often at all, but when I am feeling stressed or have a lot of other stuff on my mind (like ART and IF) it makes sense that I would do stuff like that.
hang in there sweetie...

Cory and Molly said...

Hi, I just found your blog--good luck with this cycle! Your lawyer--wow--I'm really sorry about that. Wish he/she was more thoughtful--IF is just such an expensive and hard road--you'd think someone working in the profession would be more in tune with things like finances. Gah. Take care and hoping today is a better day. :-)

Anonymous said... It's so shitty. :-( Hope you recovered well from this day, my friend. xo