Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hoops To Jump Through

I haven't shared a lot yet about this process we are going through with our first donor egg IVF cycle because frankly I've been a bit nervous to until we cleared this first hoop - the legal agreement.

But today, the donor jumped through. Yay! And started her jump on the second hoop (more on that at the end of this post)

But first hoops first... when we first got the initial legal agreement over 3 weeks ago now, most of the items in it were fine with us. We made a few small tweaks, but nothing big. However, we did want to make a more substantial change to the paragraph in it discussing disclosure. Now, we ARE entering into an anonymous donor egg cycle, so we don't know any identifying information about our donor and she doesn't know anything about us, and we want to keep it that way. BUT we have seen her profile, pictures of her as a very young girl and items that discuss some of her history and physical characteristics.

And me, being me, well, I simply can't just sit with a blog and many people I discuss this journey with and have to be tongue tied... I mean, I'm not about to try to regurgitate all of the little things I do know about Dotty (We named our donor Dotty because she is "the Donor of Tippy and Tidy"... ) but if someone asks me things about why I chose her over someone else, I would like the freedom to express that, in a very anonymous way of course.

So, I wanted the legal agreement to acknowledge that while our intent would always be too keep this arrangement anonymous, if for some reason that one person we talked to about this happened to know someone who knows someone who knows someone... type of thing.... well, I didn't want to be liable for that. We of course would treat EVERYTHING with utmost respect, confidentiality and anonymity, but the world we live in is small.

I was a bit worried that the clinic and Dotty would not be comfortable with this, but after talking more with the nurse I work mostly with on this cycle, and expressing to her my reasons behind this, she seemed comfortable with it and was hopeful Dotty would be as well.

And she was! Yay! Thanks for understanding Dotty! I really appreciate it.... even though you will never read this, I hope you know how much I appreciate you going through this with us.

So today, Dottty went into the clinic to sing the legal agreement and also get her blood drawn for infections disease testing (Hoop # 2) . The FDA requires that this be done less than 30 days before egg retrieval, so hopefully this is a very easy hoop to jump through for her as she's already been through it before to get into the donor pool at our clinic.... but... my worried mind always finds a way to make things a bit more worrisome than need be.

I'm starting to finally believe this may actually happen. I've been on BCPs for about 24 days and am just itching to be done with them. I feel like I've gained 20 pounds of bloat from them. UGH! Or maybe its just the beer and good food I drank and ate at the end of our vacation... regardless... it's time to get this show on the road...

Let the hoop jumping begin!

11 comments:

KC said...

Awesome news!!! I understand how many hoops there are to get through but it will be worth it in the end! We have talked about doing an anonymous cycle too!

marilyn said...

this is so exciting!! I wish you all the luck!

Maria said...

Woo-HOO!!! 2 hoops down, girlie! And I hear you on the bcps...ugh. Wait....food and beer make one feel bloated? And all this time I've been blaming endo. lol. ;-)

KV said...

So, you're looking at (hopefully) first week of August, right?

I think that was a really smart move to get the contract changed to allow for accidentally revealing Dotty's (unknown to you) identity to someone who might know someone who might know (etc etc). I wouldn't have thought of that. Now I'm thinking I should have had you read my mortgage papers. :)

LC said...

Yay - following you closely as you go through this chapter. Sending lots of love and luck to you and Dotty!

Baby Hopes said...

Congratulations! Wishing you all the best!!!

RunningMama said...

I am so happy that hoop w/ Dotty has been covered. And, yes, BCPs are the devil!!! I am so glad you are making progress!!

Infertile Farmer said...

You are off to a great start!! And such a smart girl to celebrate each one of these hoops or small victories. As we know too well, the process can derail at so many points, so every successfull hoop should be celebrated!! So happy for you!!

Gurlee said...

Such great news! I am hopeful and excited for your hoop jumping :)

amiracle4us said...

EEEEE!!!! It's happening :) So happy for you!

suz said...

I'm in a similar boat. Our donor just finished donating to another couple so we're waiting a month for her body to recuperate and then we start. Very happy for you and glad to get to read from someone in such similar circumstances. Wishing you (and me) internal peace and excitement in this process.