Monday, September 19, 2011

Tidy's Wisdom

I came home from work today after an acupuncture appointment where I had about 40 minutes to think and decided that I needed to tell Tidy my fears of having a baby with him. Maybe that's what has been keeping this from working so long?!?!? (Ha! If only). I should have been resting but my mind was wondering and I realized that I needed to let these fears out to him and have the world hear us in our conversation.

What if he doesn't know how to take care of a baby?
What if he can't handle being a stay at home dad when I go back to work?
What if he doesn't know how to wipe the baby's butt and he/she gets a diaper rash?
What if he gets frustrated and shakes the baby in a snap moment? (Disclaimer. He is NOT an aggressive or mean person! I  have never once been fearful of him. There's no way I would even imagine this as a possibility, but he's never been in this situation before and so how would we even know how he would react to a crying screaming inconsolable baby, because that happens, right? Yes, this is an irrational fear, but a crazy minded infertile who is trying to have a baby any way possible fears a lot)

He's a wise man, and I know one of the reasons we are married is because he understands the meaning behind my crazy monkey brain and is able to bring me back to a place of peace, most often with laughter.

SO here are some of the snippets of our conversation tonight.

Me:"What if you don't know how to clean a baby's butt and it gets butt rash? You've never done that before" (And I have, like 27 years ago, when my youngest sister was in diapers)
Tidy: "Tip, I'll learn how to clean a baby's butt. I think I've been mostly successful cleaning mine."

Tidy: "Have I ever NOT taken care of the Pog?"
Me: "No, in fact, she love you more than she loves me. Shit." (So, now, I'm convinced our baby is going to love Tidy more than me...)

After discussing how excited he is to take care of a child, Tidy says:
"...And, when it becomes slightly less baby-ish, that's when I'll REALLY start to dominate. You can handle the baby stuff and I'll basically take it from there"

Me: "Why do I like to control things so much?"
Tidy: "Because that's part of your personality. That's why you are in management. That's why we get along, because you like to control things and I TOTALLY don't."

After I look at him and just smile and feel better and we do a little dance to the music playing in our kitchen as I cook dinner (yet another area of my control), Tidy says: "Is life just finally starting to come together for you now? I think it is! And I trace it all back to the refurbishing of your flute"

(He took my flute from 8th grade and got it refurbished for me so I could re-teach myself the flute and get some creative-ness back in my life... What a guy, huh?)

SO, now you see, that's why I like Tidy so much... he and his wise, witty way of keeping me sane.

P.S. - Dotty 2.0 has her baseline this coming Thursday. Fingers crossed she can start her meds that night.


Cherm said...

LOL!!! This made me laugh out loud! I love how honest your are with Tidy and yourself! I don't think you're crazy at all. Fears associated with parenthood are truly warranted. I love how you and Tidy balance e/o guys are cute!

Chris said...

That's the best episode of Ippy and Tippy I've ever seen ;)

Anonymous said...

"I think I've been mostly successful in cleaning mine" PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I seriously cracked up at that! You guys are adorable and will make awesome parents.

KV said...

I totally get where you're coming from with the scary fears that come out of nowhere. I'm glad you guys talked about it. Tidy is so patient and gentle--other than Chris, he's the LAST person I know who would snap and shake a baby. But we get these worries in our head and it's so hard to figure out where they come from and why we have them, and it's harder to get rid of them. And other than the baby shaking, a lot of our fears we can step back and say "meh, so what?" to them. So what if the baby gets diaper rash? I think every baby does at some point. So what if there's a learning curve to figuring out how to take care of him? Most people have to go through a learning curve, even if they already have a kid. So what if he doesn't like being a stay at home dad? You re-evaluate and figure something else out. This is totally the pot calling the kettle black (I'd share my irrational fears, but I'm afraid you'll pick them up, too!), but I'm so glad you have Tidy to help you with the "so what" moments. :)

Roccie said...

Starting now, I am officially in love w Mr. Tidy.

Here are a few more - I want his answers so I can teach the CORRECT answer to Rocco.

What if you made me do all the "discipline" and think you can be Fun Daddy all the time?

What if you start to think eating dinner at 9pm is acceptable?

What if you think Fruit Snack bribes are the answer to everything?

Yeah, these concerns are a few years off for you, but I could use Tidy's counsel....

Best wishes for this 2.0.

Anonymous said...

love this!!!! haha....I think all of these are common. I often think how we will agree on silly things like bedtimes and how many books to read at night!!! ha

Kendra said...

LOL I can totally relate to this convo (and being the control freak in a relationship with Mr. Mellow). LOVE IT! Glad to have found your blog!!! ICLW #7

JustHeather said...

What sweet and kind answers from Tidy. I have many of these same fears...I think I should try to have this type of talk with my husband. :)