Friday, December 30, 2011

Last Time at the Cabin, Sans Babies

Tidy and I just got back from a little winter getaway to my P's cabin up north.

The first day we were there, we took a 6 mile hike through the woods with the pog. She was EXHAUSTED! I think she went up to her bed by 7p at night (it's usually around 9 or so). It was a beautiful winter hike (although it would have been better if there was snow) through pine forests, meadows and along the lake and sand dunes. We talked about how we love these hikes and hope that we can bring our babies on these through their lives.

The next day we splurged on a spa day. Steam room, massages and pedicures, tea (well, hot coco for Tidy) in a peaceful setting wearing the most comfortable of robes. I could do that once a week if I had the $$. It was bliss and utterly relaxing.

That night, as we laid on the couch by the fireplace, a bittersweet mood came over us. We realized that this is going to be the last time we are at the cabin, alone, without kids. And in that realization, we both had a little sadness, an acknowledge of an ending of the togetherness,  quietness and spontaneity that we currently have in our life without kids. We've love this life. It's been great to us, even with 5 years of infertility, we still found a great groove of Tippy, Tidy and the Pog. And while we are so very excited about our life to be with our babies, there is just a slight bit of sadness of what we are letting go of.

Does that make sense? Anyone else have this realization? It was actually a very sweet and tender moment, knowing how much we both very much treasure the relationship that we currently have. I think, hopefully, this will just make us stronger as we enter life with twins.

Last year, we were also at the cabin around this time and said good bye to 2010.  We started a little ritual of writing down the things we wanted to let go of onto paper and tossed it into the fire. Well this year, we didn't get around to that because 1) it's not new year's eve yet and 2) we felt somewhat nostalgic for this year.

2011 is going to go down in history as the year we finally got pregnant, as the year we conceived our babies. I definitely don't want to let go of those things.

And now...the stats:

Status: 14w1d

Weight Gain: Not sure yet. Won't have another weigh in until my next OB appointment in January. 

Symptoms: Still feeling like a normal non pregnant human except that I am hungry here and there. Nasal congestion is still there, but a little less. Headaches continue, even after some chiropractic care and a massage... 

Cravings: This week it has been green pepper pizza!!! So strange! I definitely don't normally like green peppers.

Aversions: Same as last time, no real aversions, just not craving things I really used to love.

Exercise: Bad week due to the holidays. Sunday - 3 mile run outside.  Tuesday - 1 hr spinning class. Wednesday - 6 mile hike.

Best Moment of the Week: Laying with Tidy on the couch at the cabin in front of the fire holding onto the good that we do have in our lives, somewhat scared of the change, but knowing that we are strong and are going to face our new lives head on, hand in hand.

What I Look Forward to: Finally coming out at work, hopefully this week. I've been waiting on a decision on a job by my Vice President. Long story, but I'm still in the running and I don't want him to know that I'm pregnant until he makes his decision. Hopefully we will find out this week and then I can let me stomach out. Pictures to come soon, I promise.

8 comments:

thirtiesgirl said...

I get what you're saying. We've been married for 9 years and you get used to the freedom that comes from not being tied down by anything (except our dogs). I hope your 2012 brings you everything you want.

Infertile Farmer said...

I totally get this and after having babies I have to tell you that you are spot-on in your feelings of nostalgia. Eat up those moments with Tidy! Everyone told me that "life was going to change" and I felt like saying, "no SH!T!" but I truly never fathomed how true those words were. Isn't it amazing what a difference a year makes? I totally remember your post from last year and throwing the paper filled with things to let go into the fire (what an AWESOME idea, BTW) and now here you are with 2 little miracles in your belly. And just think...next year, those 2 little miracles will be here! Just amazing! Wishing you all the best in 2012! It will certainly be a year to remember!

Glitterandrainbows1 said...

So glad that your pregnancy is going well!

Also, I gave you the Liebster Award.

Young Grasshoper said...

Yes! My husband and I felt the same way before we had our babies. Even though now we feel more complete than ever we still have those moments of missing the "just us" time...and that's when we know we are due for a date night :-)

lisabttc said...

Happy New Year to your new little family <3 <3

Heather said...

Totally get what you are saying. DH and I have been married 15 years, so Elliot was a major lifestyle change. LOL! It's different in a wonderful way, but enjoy your last bit of rested freedom while ou can. :-)

Jenny said...

I think we have those feelings now more than before the babies were born. Before they were born, we were more excited for them to come. I wish I had taken more time to enjoy things we did as a couple knowing that everything would change. But it's good that you can savor those moments now. And it's great that you're documenting your journey, because I don't remember those kind of things well now that they're behind me!

Gurlee said...

Yup, I know how you feel. It's weird to think about it "being the last time" to experience things as a couple. Enjoy each other!
Happy new year!