Friday, December 23, 2011

NT Scan and Body Honesty

Yesterday we had our NT scan. This is the first trimester screening that checks the width of the Nuchal fold on the back of the babies' necks. If the fold is over a certain width, it CAN indicated that the chances the babies have either Trisomy 13, 18 or 21 is higher than the average chances. If the chances are higher, because the fold is larger than "normal" then it can help you decide if you want to proceed further with testing, like having a CVS or an Amnio.

Our twins measurements were all within the normal range and so we won't be going further with any testing. Yay!

The biggest highlight of yesterday though, was just spending time watching them both on the screen, moving around, jumping, jerking, opening their mouths, moving their hands and feet. It was simply and purely awesome.

Here's a few pictures of Baby A's head, Baby B's head and torso and then a 3D picture of them both, hanging out in my uterus. FREAKY!!!  Don't they look so cute all snuggled in there?

I still don't connect, though that those little amazing creatures are actually inside of me. Maybe I'll feel that more when I can start to feel them move, but right now, I just feel a bit fat and hungry.

Which brings me to another thought... Body changes...

I have been thinking about this infertility thing and how it affects you once you are pregnant. One thing I think it does is put a lot of pressure on you to feel ecstatic and amazed at everything your body is going through. And to be quite honest, I simply don't. I don't like my bigger boobs. They get in the way when I blow my nose, when I roll over in bed, when I take a shower, when I do anything... and I surely don't like not fitting into my pants. I feel self conscious. I've lived for so long working hard to stay fit and in shape, so as my body is changing, I'm not really a huge fan... yet.

It's not to say that I'm not amazingly grateful or extremely happy that we ARE experiencing this journey, but I just think that it's a false expectation to put on yourself that you are going to enjoy every aspect of it. Some women do, some don't. There's no right or wrong way to go about it. I wouldn't trade my babies for a thin belly again for any reason, but I'm just being honest here and acknowledging that some of us may not really feel 100% awesome in our pregnant bodies and that's O.K.

Now, maybe down the road as this potbelly turns into an actual pregnant belly and I can feel them move more, I will be more excited about my body changes, but I don't think I'm going to get used to these boobs. Ha!

And now...the stats:

Status: 13w1d

Weight Gain: Not sure yet. Won't have another weigh in until my next OB appointment in January. Even though I like to feel a certain way in my body, I don't use weight as a measurement of that fitness.

Symptoms: Many of the mild symptoms that I did have in the first trimester have all but gone away. I basically feel like a normal non pregnant human except that I am still hungry here and there. I'm also having some fun nasal stuff oh, and now my friends are trying to freak me out about using the neti pot with tap water because of THIS fun article on people dying from a flesh eating amoeba... gross, huh? I figure it's really only surfaced in the deep south, so I'm not gonna get my panties in a bundle over it. (I love that saying). Oh, I've also recently had a few more headaches, but I can't tell if they are hormonal or muscle tension.

Cravings: Yesterday I wanted lots and lots of orange juice. I didn't have any, but I had a ton of those little clementines, so I squeezed juice out of about 10 of them... and got like 1/2 cup of juice. It got me through... But today, I'm definitely going hunting for more OJ. I've been reading up about this and I think cravings are so fascinating. I know they are your body telling you that you need certain things. In pregnancy, one of the things you need more of but is hard to get, especially for vegetarians is iron. And that might be the reason why I am craving OJ, since Vitamin C helps you bind the iron that is found in non-meat sources better. I love the human body. It's amazing, no?

Aversions: Same as last time, no real aversions, just not craving things I really used to love.

Exercise: Friday - 1 hr warm power flow yoga, Sunday - 1 hr spinning class, Tuesday - 3 mile run on the treadmill, 45 min non-warm power flow yoga, Wednesday - does 3 games of bowling count? I was actually a little sore in my bum...

Best Moment of the Week: Peeking inside again with the twins and watching Twin A jump and jerk around in there like it had the hiccups. It was AMAZING!

What I Look Forward to: Telling some of our extended family and friends tonight and tomorrow night.


Lara said...

I love the 3D picture because you can see both little ones in the same shot. Even at 30+ weeks pregnant I could not comprehend that there really was a baby inside me. I could feel him kick, hear his heartbeat, and watch him on the ultrasound, but it never seemed real until he was actually born. Infertility does crazy things to our minds.

amiracle4us said...

So happy everything looked great :)

As for the body... I can totally see that. I think it will be a bit better when you look like its a pregnant belly vs a bit tubby. I still think you look great though :). Xo

Sybil said...

Love your pictures - especially the one of both of them! The netti pot story is kinda scary though - my hubby says they must have used well water. I definitely agree on the whole body image thing, especially the boob issue - mine are killing me! Every time I start complaining, I think back to all we had to go through - I am so very gratful to be pregnant but it is not the world's easiest job!

RunningMama said...

Yeah for the nuchal fold test and lots of time watching the twins bop around! I totally felt the mental incongruity of REALLY wanting to be pregnant....but then not feeling so good about my body actually BEING pregnant the first couple months. I assure you that this will all change once you have the belly. You will LOVE the belly. You will hug it and rub it and look at it ALL the time. Of course, in later pregnancy you will also hate being uncomfortable and will occassionally catch yourself looking at non-pregnant women and, it will be nice to have a flat tummy again...but not ONCE wanting to trade them for their non-pregnant stance. The KEY to not getting lost is to keep least for me that has been the key. As I have gotten bigger and the scale has gone higher (and higher), I still feel strong and fit and ME because I keep exercising. I'm not running anymore and sometimes I can barely eek (sp?) out an elliptical workout...but I'm sweating and I'm trying. Merry Christmas and big kisses to all FOUR of you!

lisabttc said...

I'm not on much right now since we're taking a break. Just popping in to check on you, and what a beautiful update :-) Those 2 babies are adorable! Thinking of you. Happy holidays!

Infertile Farmer said...

Sorry I have been MIA for so long! I have been reading, but I am too busy (i.e., lazy) to log in my other gmail account, so my commenting has been sparse. I am still over the moon excited for you! I totally understand not loving the early "pooch" belly. I just felt like I had a beer gut or something for the longest time. Clothes didn't fit and I just felt so unattractive. I begged for a big round belly so I actually looked pregnant and not fat! ha ha! And then of course I got it and it got HUGE! Also, I never could believe the babies on the ultrasound screen were in my tummy. I felt like they were bringing in that video from some other place...surely it wasn't inside ME! Once you start feeling little kicks it becomes more real, but I don't think I ever fully believed I was having these babies until they were here. Take it all in, my friend. It's an amazing journey!

jill's infertility document said...


St Elsewhere said...

BTW, I crave oranges too....I am peeling a fruit, any time of the day, and sometimes at midnight too!

The babies look beautiful. I wish you a safe pregnancy!

Jenny said...

So happy for you that the twins "passed" their NT scan! That brings a great feeling of relief, I remember. And it's so amazing to see them on ultrasounds. I love the shot of both of them together. Like you, I hated the way I looked pregnant, and I just shot down almost every request from a distant friend for a picture of me. I didn't feel cute, just fat. I hope you and Tidy had the merriest Christmas!

Kristen said...

The pictures are amazing!
Congrats on a great NT scan.
And I'm with you on not loving the body changes. I'm 25 weeks now and it has gotten easier for me as I've started to look pregnant instead of just fat, but I really don't feel attractive pregnant, and that surprised me because I thought I would love every single thing about being pregnant. Sigh.
Thanks for your honesty.
And I have been craving grapefruit juice 24/7...keep wondering what that means...

M said...

Still awestruck at the NT scan....they look so "real." :D It is so amazing what IF does to the mind....I'm thinking I would feel a sort of disconnect, too....wondering if there actually was a baby in there. Can't wait until you feel something!