Saturday, February 4, 2012

Cancer SUCKS!

I spent this past Thursday night at a benefit for a friend from elementary and high school who is battling 2 cancerous brain tumors. It was an amazing night, reaffirming what a wonderful community of people I was raised with. You can read about my friend's journey here if you like. She's an inspiring person. As she walks through this journey, fighting for her life, she holds her head high and tries to find peace in here day with her family and with what she has at the moment. She is about one quarter of the way through 2 years of chemo that will hope to shrink her brain tumors so that she can go on living her life with a bit less worry for a while and enjoying her beautiful family and friends.

A few posts ago, she was talking about finding a way to let go and also learn to say no, and be a bit selfish. I feel like this was a lesson that I learned with infertility too. It made me slow down and say, what truly matters to me right now. It made me learn to let go of the fret and fear and worry and planning and doing that I felt like I needed to do to get to my goal so that I could find some level of enjoyment in my current life, even while trying to achieve parenthood. But then I felt bad, likening my struggle to hers. I'm trying to create life, and she is trying to save life. It felt unfair. It felt like I was minimizing her struggle...

But you know how beautiful of a person she is? How thoughtful? She took a vacation with her husband up to a relaxing place and they spent some time in a chapel. She lit candles for all of her friends struggling with her own things. And one of those candles was for me... In all of her pain, and worry, and fight, she was thinking of me. (She didn't know we were pregnant yet)

Can you believe that? That, my friends, is compassion... Compassion for others, even in your own time of pain and suffering and need.

I will try my hardest to remember this story when I find myself losing compassion.

So I spent the night catching up with old friends, reminiscing about who did what, when, bidding on silent auction items, drinking St. Pauli Girl N/A, celebrating my friend and helping to raise money to kick cancer's ass!!!

And now, the stats & a new bump picture:

Status: 19w2d

Weight Gain: Same status as last week, so I don't know, but I'm SURE it's starting to pile on!

Symptoms: Feeling a few more bubbles and pops in there when I am sitting still, but nothing consistent yet. Gallbladder pain is still there, but I'm learning to eat a bit differently and am managing the pain just fine, for now. My mid back gets sore, especially when sitting in one place for too long, and I still haven't had a massage, but I do have one scheduled in a few weeks. YAY!

Cravings: Nothing very obvious, except for some green pepper cravings still and oranges. I also bought a small bag of Swedish fish today... YUM!

Aversions: Again, none to speak of

Exercise: Saturday & Sunday - walked a TON around the stores as we got some of our registering done. I was out shopping for 4 hours each day. Does that count as exercise? Monday - 1 hr spinning, Tuesday - 45 min power flow yoga at home, Wednesday - 45 min lunch time yoga at work. If we count the weekend walking at the mall (and no, not mall-walking), I guess we can say that was 4 times this week. Also, on the running note, I think I've decided to stop that, for now. The placenta previa, although very minimal has me just a tad bit nervous that I'd rather be safe than sorry. So, for now, no running. I'm going to have to see if I can make that elliptical machine my friend.

Best Moment of the Week: The benefit I went to on Thursday. It was so great to catch up with old friends and to feel the love of an amazingly giving and supportive community.

What I Look Forward to: Feeling some more distinct movement and having Tidy able to see/feel it too.


LisaB said...

Aww, you are so cute! I love your bump!
What a sweet friend. I'm so sorry she has to go through all that. I have heard many people compare infertility struggles to having a serious disease. It's not the same, but it is hell.
Glad you're doing well!

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Anonymous said...

Wow....what a fantastic friend you have there. Compassion is a powerful, powerful thing. :)