Saturday, May 19, 2012

Anticipation of Change

The anticipation of the arrival of these babies has been making me a bit unstable lately. Our "to-do" list still has a few things on it and I think both Tidy and I are sensing this big change coming and reacting in our own ways, which are not always concordant.

I really want this last month (or less) to be a time when we can relax a bit, enjoy each others company and relish in the last remaining freedom and quite time that we have while we wait, excited and hopeful to finally meet these babies we have so longed for.

Because we react differently to these types of situations, we sometimes butt heads. My natural tendency is to organize, make lists, and want to get things done A.S.A.P, so we can then sit back and breath, while Tidy's nature is to not....Although, he has really been fantastic lately at getting some stuff done that I haven't even thought of, like getting Pog to the vet to get her current on her shots and making sure that the new doors we ordered are in and the guys we have can come over to install them.

I also think that some of these late pregnancy hormone changes has been making me shorter tempered and quicker to react. Either way, the blissful balance I have seemed to maintain thus far is starting to falter. I think I need more yoga :-)

Last night, we went to a friend's house for dinner and just stopped for a bit to sit around and talk and eat. It was nice and a good reminder that I can get what I want to get done and also still make time to enjoy the present moments.

I know, deep down, Tidy and I are both terribly excited about the change to come, but with any change, even one that you have been waiting for, for what seems like an eternity, there is always some part of you that wants to hang on to the present, because that is what is known. Make sense? I hope so. I don't mean for anyone to interpret that we do not 100% want this amazing gift we have been given, it's just the reality of the moment. Change is coming, a big, beautiful glorious change, but it's still change and with that, comes just a slight bit of anxiety.

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On the baby and mamma health front, we are all doing great. I went to my OB this past Wednesday to check in after our ultrasound a 2 weeks ago. He's very pleased with their growth and the fact that they are growing the same. Baby A was estimated at 4 lbs 3 oz and Baby B is 4 lbs 7 oz. We couldn't be happier.

Position wise however, that's another story. Baby A, the one who used to be head down and 'presenting' is now transverse and also higher up in my uterus. Baby B is closer to the exit and breech. At 34 weeks with twins, there is not much hope that they will turn head down, but rest assured I will be doing all that I can in these next few weeks to encourage them to turn. I started some Chiropractic care this week and I've been seeing my Acupuncturist. I've also found a fantastic website called: spinningbabies.com. Has anyone had luck with any of these methods? If a C-section is in my future, I know that I will come to accept it and focus on the positive of having our babies, but I am still very scared and sad at this possibility. I know some of you readers out there feel very strongly that I should just accept this fate and be happy for what I do have going well. And honestly, I will get there. But it's not a switch that I can just flip, I think it's more of a gradual grieving process.

Health wise, I am doing well too... no signs of increased blood pressure yet or major swelling, although we are expected to have a warm week starting today, so we'll see how that goes. I am looking at my toes right now and they could definitely use a pedicure... hmmm... maybe I'll have to do that on my way to Target this morning for the last round of returns from our showers.

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And now the stats & a belly pic (34w0d):


Status: 34w2d


Weight Gain: At the OB this past Wednesday, I was up 39 lbs. 

Symptoms:  I still have a bit of carpel tunnel,  but the braces that I wear to bed at night are helping a bit. And so are Tidy's comments about my "bowling wrist guards" and how he hopes it helps me pick up that "7-10 split"...  Also helping is the moxa stick that I use to encourage vertex positioning. It also seems to help clear out some of the fluid retention in my wrists. Also, this past week I've been a bit more "hormonal" that I have in the past, crying easily and getting a bit worked up over small things. I hope this passes.

Cravings: None to speak of

Aversions: None to speak of

Exercise:  Still doing my once a week prenatal yoga and once a week prenatal pilates. I hope to make to the pool this weekend to do a little light swimming too, just to get the blood flowing and help with the minimal fluid retention.

Best Moment of the Week: At my OB appointment this past week, my doctor looked at me with a bit smile at the end of the appointment and said, "We're getting there! Things are going really well. 34 weeks is a fantastic milestone. I'm very happy with how well nature has been working here for you." And it just made me happy and realize that we really really have a big chance that these babies are going to be in our arms, healthy and thriving very soon. I still have to pinch myself that this is really happening.

What I Look Forward to: Hearing that one of my close blogger and IRL friends had a healthy labor and delivery of her much awaited for baby. She texted me yesterday saying she was starting to see signs of labor. I am on baited breath waiting until I get the phone call or text saying they are heading to the hospital. Sending her tons and tons of strength and hope for the delivery she has dreamed of for so long.

9 comments:

Gurlee said...

Omg Tippy, this is my third attempt at a comment, blogger is pissing me off!!
I totally get how you are feeling. I remember feeling scared before the baby came. I worried about how it would effect my relationship & felt guilty for worrying, after all we spent years wanting what was making me nervous! I think it's normal to have some trepidation and brave to admit it. It in no way is an indicator of not being 100% thrilled!
Once Cullen was born I was amazed by what an addition he felt like, his presence does not detract from the carefree (ha, as if) child free life we once had. I am certain you will have similar feelings.
I am glad you are all doing well and I know I have said or before but if you end up having a section, don't be hard on yourself! The most important thing is healthy mom, healthy babies!
Xo

KC said...

Wow, 34 weeks that's so exciting!!! I am glad you are feeling good and the babies are growing at the same rate. I think it is so important that you are realizing things are about to change and that a lot of people are in denial until the babies come. Hubby and I love to travel and that is one thing we are going to miss. I think with one baby we might have tried but with two it will be a once a year trip to Florida to visit grandparents. Obviously it is well worth it but still an adjustment. We had friends over for a BBQ tonight and the changes were very apparent. Life is richer and more meaningful but much different. Anyways, glad everything is good with you. Take care of yourself and by the way my boys totally changed positions at 35 weeks so don't worry.

Hersheys said...

I'm really happy for you on your twins... :)

Sorry I haven't followed your blog... my computer died and I lost all my links. But miraculously, I was sorting thru my emails and found your blog link again!

LisaB said...

I'm so glad you and the babies are doing so well!! Yay! I'll be praying that they get in the right position. I had a couple friends recently who went really close, but the baby turned! I can only imagine the preparations and feelings involved in such a big change! It would be scary and exciting. You guys are going to be kick ass parents though :-)

LisaB said...

Crap, I'm not sure if my comment went through...
Yay! I'm so glad you and the babies are doing well! I'll be praying that they get in the right positions! I know a couple ladies recently who went really close, but the baby turned! I can only imagine the preparation and everything going into this big change. It must be scary and exciting! You guys are going to be kick ass parents though :-) <3

Lara said...

Glad you are all doing so well. I started to panic about the change towards the end too. I think this is normal even though we have suffered infertility. Take your time with grieving the possibility of having to have a c section, but I think you may find that acceptance is like flipping a switch the moment you hold your babies - at that moment I no longer cared how he had arrived just that he was in my arms.

jill's infertility document said...

34 weeks is a huge milestone and I am so happy for you! Flip babies, flip!

Bernadette & Duane said...

Unbelievable that you are HERE! I remember so clearly when you were prepping for your transfer! Funny, but as we approached our third trimester, Duane and I were both a bit snappy with each other. I think we were each trying to process that this was actually really going to happen. And with that, of course, comes a whole host of emotions. Huge hugs to you. This is getting SO exciting!!!

Alicia and Steve D. said...

You are totally allowed to grieve having a c-section if it comes to that! I didn't mind that I had to have a c-section with my twins: I gave my labor a chance but it just didn't work out. But I was devastated that Breastfeeding didn't work out. I grieved it as long as I needed to. But eventually life just sort of happens and you move on. Your pregnancy is progressing so well and you will be holding two healthy little ones soon! Enjoy these last few weeks!