Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A little reassurance goes a long way

I can't believe that 8 weeks has gone by since my water broke. It has seemed like ages and also like just a blink of the eye. So much has seemed to happen in such a short amount of time.

We went on our first weekend getaway and road trip.
(They did amazing!! Slept in their car seats both nights, but traveled well)

M&M at the resort

We took our first hike.
(We wore them in the Mo.by wraps and hiked up to a bluff to look over the river nearby. It was sunny and breezy and they got a lot of fresh air... tired them out, I think)

The Bean Burrito, Pog and Tidy on our hike

We went to our first farmers market.
(Momma got a big big cup of iced coffee and a pain au chocolat at the bakery... yum!)

My coffee, oh and the twins at the market

We've had our first purposeful smiles that I can now get to happen on a fairly regular basis.

We are also experiencing our first bout of fussiness, or excessive crying, which some might term "colic".

The other night, as I lie asleep and Tidy took the early "night shift" on the couch with the babies in swings (did I mention that we are creating monsters and letting them sleep in their swings at night right now? It's the only way we are getting sleep..), he wrote me this:

Just sitting here looking through your blog, the words, the pictures and at the babies swinging across from me. I hope you realize what a wonderful job you have done. Our journey had the potential, at many stops, to crush our will to continue. But here we are... parents to two amazing lives. Do not doubt yourself for a single minute. You are amazing. We will thrive in this journey together.

I love you, 

(Yes, we have shortened versions of Tippy and Tidy...)

I needed to hear that. This parenting thing is hard! Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough and I worry they are not getting the proper amount of stimulation, or attention, since I have to divide it between two. Do they feel loved? Do they feel comforted? Especially lately, with M&M, who is developing "colic"... I hate to see her cry and not be able to stop it immediately and consistently. Poor M&M!! (We are going to the Dr today to see if maybe it's reflux or gas or... or just fussiness that we hope she will grow out of soon).

I also worry about going back to work in just 4 short weeks. Are they going to miss me? Will they know how very much I love them? I'm going to miss so many firsts that Tidy will see (Yes, I am a slight bit jealous... ok... a lot).

In the end, I know we are doing a good job... hopefully a great job. It's just all so new that some days a little reassurance goes quite a long way. Maybe one day, a long time from now, I will hear from each of them individually, that I did a 'bang up job' as a mamma...

That will be a fine day.


Amy said...

Reflux is very common in preemies. My boy twin had it and let me tell you, if you're considering turning down the drugs, DON'T! I refused the drugs for him worried about side effects and thinking it wasn't so bad. It gets the worst at 4-6 months, and boy did. He would scream without pause for 3+ hours straight. He would scream until he lost his voice. He not only tested our sanity but he tested our marriage. After 6 months it got SO so so so so much better. But knowing what I know now I would opt for the reflux meds instead of those months of hell with him.

Heather said...

Aww...what a sweet note! You are doing a great job.

Don't worry about them sleeping in the swings. E slept there until he could roll back to front (4 months). Turns out he didn't like sleeping flat on his back. And he napped in there until he was 11 months old. I was worried, but the transition was fine for both.

Gurlee said...

What a sweet, sweet note. It makes me tear up a little :) It is so good to have reassurance, sometimes I feel like I have NO idea what I am doing. Parenting is hard!

Don't you just love smiles? So incredible, the boys are so cute!!

I can completely relate to the return to work, I start next week.

Jess said...

Wonderful post--the babies are so adorable. And how sweet of your husband to send you an encouraging note!

KC said...

Holy cow I could have written this post. I had and still have a ton of guilt that I don't give my boys enough individual attention even though I spend my day trying to entertain them. I actually love the days when they are on opposite schedules so I can have time with them alone while the other guy is sleeping. As the get older you feel less guilty because their smiles and giggles reassure you that they love you even if you aren't constantly holding them and giving them one-on-one attention.
By the way we used to kiss the swing goodnight because it was the only way we got a minute to ourselves and it didn't cause them to be bad sleeper, plus they barely use it now. Similar to what Heather said in her comment, our boys are stomach sleepers and once they could roll over they became much happier. sleepers
I have a friend in my local mommy group who has a son with reflux, she has him on the medication and it is getting much better. One of our guys Fynn is a whiner and it can test our patience. We used to blame it on being hungry, tired or sick but now we know it is just his nature.
Anyways, the fact that you are worried about not being able to give them enough shows just what an incredible job you are doing.

Ted and Maria said...

More friggin' tears...dang you, Tidy! What a beautiful note to a fantastic mama!