Tidy's Wisdom

I came home from work today after an acupuncture appointment where I had about 40 minutes to think and decided that I needed to tell Tidy my fears of having a baby with him. Maybe that's what has been keeping this from working so long?!?!? (Ha! If only). I should have been resting but my mind was wondering and I realized that I needed to let these fears out to him and have the world hear us in our conversation.

What if he doesn't know how to take care of a baby?
What if he can't handle being a stay at home dad when I go back to work?
What if he doesn't know how to wipe the baby's butt and he/she gets a diaper rash?
What if he gets frustrated and shakes the baby in a snap moment? (Disclaimer. He is NOT an aggressive or mean person! I  have never once been fearful of him. There's no way I would even imagine this as a possibility, but he's never been in this situation before and so how would we even know how he would react to a crying screaming inconsolable baby, because that happens, right? Yes, this is an irrational fear, but a crazy minded infertile who is trying to have a baby any way possible fears a lot)

He's a wise man, and I know one of the reasons we are married is because he understands the meaning behind my crazy monkey brain and is able to bring me back to a place of peace, most often with laughter.

SO here are some of the snippets of our conversation tonight.

Me:"What if you don't know how to clean a baby's butt and it gets butt rash? You've never done that before" (And I have, like 27 years ago, when my youngest sister was in diapers)
Tidy: "Tip, I'll learn how to clean a baby's butt. I think I've been mostly successful cleaning mine."

Tidy: "Have I ever NOT taken care of the Pog?"
Me: "No, in fact, she love you more than she loves me. Shit." (So, now, I'm convinced our baby is going to love Tidy more than me...)


After discussing how excited he is to take care of a child, Tidy says:
"...And, when it becomes slightly less baby-ish, that's when I'll REALLY start to dominate. You can handle the baby stuff and I'll basically take it from there"

Me: "Why do I like to control things so much?"
Tidy: "Because that's part of your personality. That's why you are in management. That's why we get along, because you like to control things and I TOTALLY don't."

After I look at him and just smile and feel better and we do a little dance to the music playing in our kitchen as I cook dinner (yet another area of my control), Tidy says: "Is life just finally starting to come together for you now? I think it is! And I trace it all back to the refurbishing of your flute"

(He took my flute from 8th grade and got it refurbished for me so I could re-teach myself the flute and get some creative-ness back in my life... What a guy, huh?)

SO, now you see, that's why I like Tidy so much... he and his wise, witty way of keeping me sane.

P.S. - Dotty 2.0 has her baseline this coming Thursday. Fingers crossed she can start her meds that night.