What a Difference a Year Makes

I'm still an "Infertile", even though we are finally pregnant. I still have feelings of jealousy of people who get pregnant easily and those who talk about expanding their families to their hearts content. I get slightly angry at people who stay stupid things, like "just adopt" or "just relax". This will always be part of me. I don't want to forget it and I won't. It's made me the person I am today and I like who I am.... well, not really the jealous monster part, but the part that tries to be compassionate towards ever person's struggle, and the part that has learned patience and living in the moment... appreciating what you have... right now.

But I will say, one thing that has changed from last year, is my desire to celebrate the holidays. Last year at this time, I wanted to throw away all of the family cards that we got in the mail, especially the handful that announced pregnancies. I didn't want to put up a tree because... meh... who cares. I was in a funk.

But this year there is definitely a different feel. It's not a complete 180, because I've never been a HUGE holiday person, but I definitely feel more festive, more hopeful, more willing to celebrate other's joys. I even went out and did a little shopping yesterday to decorate.

You will notice a few things in our picture: A tree, some holiday colored pillows for the couch, and a wall hanging of our holiday cards from friends.... with their kids! Yup, they are on my wall instead of in my recycling bin. Oh what a difference a year makes, huh?

P.S.... We think Tidy is pregnant too. His appetite has increased, he's not sleeping well, especially on his back, and he has been a bit more irritable. I can't wait to see HIS bump start to form... LOL!