Last night, I came home from work in a panic, worrying about how the heck we were going to come up with enough credit to finance this DE IVF cycle.
I was trying to put some screen doors back into our porch that we had just gotten back from the hardware store fixed but they still didn't work and I was getting VERY frustrated. And then I started crying, but soon, I realized that I wasn't really crying about the doors, even though I was pissed that we spent some $$ on them and they STILL don't work, but I was really crying about the fact that we are about to embark on a VERY expensive journey (not that any of these things are cheap, mind you) and we are still not guaranteed a baby in the end.
To tell you the truth, I'm terrified.
Scared shitless
I was in a tizzy (Tippy was in a Tizzy... LOL!... I couldn't resist) because we have to come up with our big payment to the clinic in the next few days here and we have not actually detailed how this was actually going to work. In my head, I had thought about the way we were going to pay for this, but I hadn't really put it all together.
So after sitting down at the computer with Tidy, and of course an Excel worksheet for my budgeting purposes, scrambling to get things in order, we did it. I feel like we won some sort of quiz, or contest. We figured out how, with what we have in savings and by applying for and getting TWO 15 month- 0% interest credit cards out, how to finance this madness that we are about to enter into. I hope that when we are finished paying off these credit cards that I can say, "Phew, I finally own my beautiful, amazing baby" instead, "Fuck, I just spent X amount of months paying off Y amount of $$s and I have only a scared psyche to show for it."
By the way, I'm heading to the RE tomorrow morning for my baseline ultrasound and estrogen check. If all looks good and suppressed, I will be starting 2 weeks of estrogen. And then hopefully Dotty will be off to the races! Yay! This is really going to start happening soon... I hope... Fingers crossed!
Wouldn't it be nice to look in a crystal ball and see the future! The financial investment is something I try not to think about because it is so daunting. Some people have retirement funds, and nicer houses, while we have IVF bills to show for our hard work. I guess it just solidifies our commitment to being parents. Hubby and I have also talked about doing an unknown egg donor if this cycle doesn't work and I don't know how we will come up with the funds. Like they say 'where there is a will there is a way'. I am so excited for you and I have a great feeling about your upcoming cycle!!
ReplyDeleteI literally just let out a sigh of relief that you figured out the financial aspect. Hee hee...love that you couldn't resist "Tippy was in a tizzy." Awesome.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate that you talked about the financial aspect of your DE cycle. Frankly, the cost is what is holding me back--I just don't know if I could live with the guilt of spending that much money if it didn't work.So glad you have been able to figure out a way to make it work!
ReplyDeleteUGH! The financial stuff sucks. Nothing like forking out all this money with absolutely no guarantees. Just one more completely unfair thing about infertility. Hang in there, hon! The sacrifices you are making now just proves what an awesome Mom you will be!
ReplyDeleteBecause we used an agency for our donor ours was crazy expensive - my spreadsheet is up to $55k for one round. Now, I have TWO buns (and you will too, my dear) in the oven to show for it so that feels good. My insurance covered most of my meds (not the donor's $3.5k) and I'm hoping to get about $10k in insurance reimbursement.
ReplyDeleteSince I am weaning, can I offer you any Vivelle dot patches and/or Endometrin (100mg) suppositories? I have tons of both. I will donate them to my clinic but I'd much rather see them go to someone specific. Both of these drugs are super expensive but they are extras and were covered by my insurance so you can have them for free!